Dear Zoom-Bizarre.com,
HI! Remember me? It's been a long time. Perhaps you need a reminder.
In early 2002, a British gentleman named Steve sent you $800 (US) for a leather catsuit. You happily accepted his money and promises were made. I sent off my measurements, and we waited.
Five months later, you sent a cloth 'preview' of the catsuit. What is not obvious in the above image - the preview was horrid. See that seam on my right calf under the boot? That's were the catsuit ended. The torso was too short, the legs and arms were designed for a child. The preview was sent back - with a letter stressing the proper measurements.
And then we waited. And waited some more.
I moved from Los Angeles to Palm Springs. I sent you a letter regarding my new mailing address - I sent it twice. No response. After a few months, and several emails, I received, "Please accept our apologies, we've had a change in management."
That's OK - things happen. I know what it's like to have a business turn into a clusterf##k and to try to pick up the pieces afterwards. I let you slide for several months because of that empathy.
But after several unreturned emails, it was time for a phone call. I do not speak German, so one of my German chatroom regulars (Stephan) volunteered to call.
You gave Stephan the run-around too, and made promises to him. That you were aware and embarrassed by the situation and wanted to do right as soon as you could! You asked for my measurements again - which were sent - twice - then...nothing. Follow up emails were met with nothing.
I moved to New York City and sent another email with my updated address - on the off chance that someone was actually reading these things. Again, no response.
Well...it's 2007.
The Zoom Bizarre catsuit? Keep it. I don't want it - it would be like blood money to me at this point. It would make my skin crawl.
What I WANT is for Steve to get his money back. That $800 he gave Zoom Bizarre in good faith, and you dicked him over for - GIVE IT BACK.
No excuses, no more, "Oh...change in management, we're working on it, blahblahblah BULL!" GIVE HIM HIS MONEY BACK.
Hey! According to my stats, over 20% of my readers are German! Awesome! Hallo jungen!
Zoom Bizarre? Do the right thing and I will delete this post. Continue dicking around with excuses? Watch this post screw with your search engine traffic.
