Mood: 
reflective/reactive
Music: Tool, Schism.
It's pouring rain in Brooklyn this AM, and my kitchen ceiling doesn't cope with that well. So since I'm up anyway, protecting my toaster and silverware, I may as well write...
Consider this a follow-up to the "So How Old is Too Old" rant I posted two weeks ago.
Cliff notes version: I'm righteously pissed about the insane expectations and standards - regarding weight, age, and over-all appearance - that are expected of women nowadays. This is reflected on various websites, and the unfair and sometimes outright misogynistic comments that I read on a daily basis.
One of our regular models sent me an email:
"Loved the age rant, but my dear Teri, get off the cross already - you and I both know that somebody else needs the wood."
And she is absolutely right, because I am a part of the problem. Over 70% of the work I do for websites is photoshopping images of women. You will never see an image of a Bootlovers model with under-eye circles, or less than perfect skin, or obviously yellow teeth - because I 'fix' that. I have to. No model would volunteer to pose for the website if I did not promise to make her look great.
Bootlovers.com does not pay the models who appear on the website. I don't think the majority of you know that. The women who spend the time getting dressed up and cleaning their apartments/dungeons and carefully applying their cosmetics - they don't get a dime from us.
It's not as if we are getting rich off of their backs - regular chatroom members know the reality of my life. The site is kind of a labour of love for everyone involved - I like to think it's a 'oh fuck you already' to all of those porn websites that have hijacked the word, 'fetish'. Ditto for the ones who claim to have a 'webmistress' when it's just some guy behind the scenes getting his freak on.
Since I do not 'do' porn, and refuse to even link to hardcore websites, I've been forced into a niche. It's a niche I adore, because it is one of the few that is female friendly and invites participation on a pure fetishist and intellectual level. Not that a healthy majority of my readers do not jerk off themselves senseless to some of the images - that's OK and expected - but they can 'come down' afterwards and conduct a conversation. Boot fetishism covers femdom - femsub - kink - and just people who love exotic boots. We're a remarkably 'normal' - although perhaps a bit obsessive - bunch.
But here's the thing: a big part of that - why Bootlovers supporters buy the issues and post on this blog - is because they feel our models are 'real'.
What's the current definition of 'real'? Sincerity? OK - we have that. Appearance? Is that even a fair expectation anymore? Even the most flawless of models need the internet equivilent of a nip and tuck to pass the 'perfection' standard of paysites.
If any of you walked by a few of these women on the street - your head would turn because it would be human nature to do so - because they are beautiful women. But put them under the harsh lights of a photoshoot, under 10 layers of make-up, and posing in awkward positions...no one stands up.
And that's where our regular model's comment comes back into play - and it puts me in a horrid position (she knows that).
I complain about the insane standards - yet I photoshop my own website's models to be on par with them (to a point). I bitch about feeling unworthy of being called a 'fetish model' - yet erase my own under-eye circles and smooth out my own skin for galleries.
For what it's worth...I do 'justify' this in my own head. As an avowed feminist - I have to.
The video clips. It's not as if I hire ILM every month to tinker with the footage we use. There's no photoshop there. I find the video camera intimidating - so do most of our models - because there is no fooling that. What you see on the video footage is reality - even if the galleries say something else.
Unlike the majority of our contemporaries - I do not enlarge breasts, lengthen necks, redraw thighs, and carve away waistlines. Smoothing out skin is one thing - creating a whole new body is another.
Now if only a 'women's' magazine called Redbook followed my code.
This additional rant just didn't come out of nowhere - it was triggered.
There's an awesome website - one of my new favourites and the latest jewel in the Gawker Media crown - called Jezebel.com. When the site started a couple of months ago, they offered 10 grand to 'snitches' who could offer a behind-the-scenes look at the reality of magazine covers and editorials. And they caught a mother of a big fish.
Faith Hill.
Since I know fuck-all about country music...I had a vague idea of who she is. Blonde. Pretty. Married to another country singer. Kids. Attends most of the award shows - usually wearing white. That about covers my collective knowledge.
But even I know that Faith Hill isn't a 22-year-old Stepford Wife - and if Redbook magazine can make a viewer like me go 'WTF are you DOING?!' - you know there's something wrong.
Jezebel.com just nailed Redbook to the wall - in the public eye - for basically turning Faith Hill into a fembot. And by doing so, it's a bit of a reality check for people outside of the 'biz' - for those of you who buy instead of create.
To kick this up a notch...Gwen Stefani. We all know and love her - she wore the McQueen thigh-highs on the Grammys!
A few years ago, while surfing the various celeb and fashion boards back then, I stumbled across a series of 'raw' Gwen pics - raw meaning that they hadn't been retouched yet. These pics were obviously NOT supposed to be public. But I saved one - for practice. I knew what Gwen usually looks like in magazines, so I started fucking around with it in Photoshop. This photo has been hidden on the site for years - now it seems relevent.
I do not do this 'level' of work on our models, or myself. Not because of some moral outrage - but because it would take too much time! Erasing 'flaws' takes a ridiculous amount of resources and hours out of the day.
But no publicist would allow Gwen to show her real face in a magazine. She is a talented singer, song writer, and performer who runs her own fashion line - how dare she show her age!
(Teri's practice - Gwen Steffani)
(Jezebel.com - Faith Hill/Redbook cover)
(Jezebel.com - Why We're Pissed) - I wish I had wrote this first, because it is righteous.
(Click here to view the enlargement)
Arrogant.
You are a 'Master' - I am a former Mistress. We should both understand the concept of taking things to far.
"Models are expected to be beautiful. That's the job."
Of course it is. But Faith Hill is not a model. She's a 39 year-old mother of three country singer. Redbook knew this when they brought her in for a cover.
Redbook is not Vogue or Elle. It's a 'lifestyle' magazine with a female, 34 - 59 demographic. It is not for the 'Maxim' crowd. That's what made so many people so angry.
"If a truck driver is kind, a good person, truly loves trucks, and can't shift gears? Too bad, he's not a good truck driver. If a model is kind, a good person, and truly loves boots, and is 20 pounds overweight? Eh."
Not sure what you are getting at with this statement. Are you referring to me to being the 'kind, good person, who loves boots and is 20 pounds overweight? I don't think I'm kind.
"As a friend used to say, "That's the way it is because it is that way." You can try to change the culture, if you don't have the serenity to accept yada yada ya."
We change culture all of the TIME.
Twenty years ago, a black artist couldn't get his or her video played on daytime MTV. Ten years ago, gay men and lesbians were unheard of on television.
Yada Yada Ya...If we followed your friend's logic, caucasians would still have their own schools and drinking fountains.
FUCK serenity. Culture is something that NEEDS to evolve and change every day.
"When I look at a boot model, I can't tell if she's a fetishist, and frankly, I don't care. I'm not marrying her, or engaging in a meaningful relationship with her. I'm looking at her picture, or watching her walk down the runway."
But some do care. Some care very much. The point of Bootlovers.com is to introduce the select women who do take boots very seriously, and hopefully provide her with an audience that appreciates her fetish.
I love to see a pretty women in wonderful boots (or gloves) too - I wouldn't run the blog if I didn't - but I have a mental list of who loves boots, and who wears them because a stylist told them to. It may not matter to you - but as a boot freak, it matters to ME. The women who wear boots to run errands, or who include gloves as a part of a ensemble - you had better BELIEVE I know who they are. You don't care - I DO.
There is a kazillion paysites out there who happily cater to you - why are you on my blog?
"I attended DFP way back when, and when Constance FINALLY hired models, the fashion show looked good. (I remember Gypsy tripping and nearly falling off the runway - good person, but...)"
Can't argue with you there (I remember Gypsy), but nowadays a woman does not have to be a paid model to be a boot fan, or to look good.
"The moment money changes hands, and the transaction becomes commercial, boom. Production values, expectations, no more forgiveness. Now it's biz, baby! Nothing personal."
You need to reread my post again - Bootlovers.com does not pay models.
And you can be flippant with your comment - but as an ex-prodom, and as someone who works with fetish models - the 'biz' has it's limits, 'baby'!
We all turn away paychecks. Money doesn't buy everything. 'Nothing personal'? There's a person in that photo. Rub yourself senseless to her image, but knock off the depersonalization bullshit. If you need that to get off - that's your issue - don't project it on the rest of us.
"You have chosen to say no to hard core. That's fine. But don't be down on those who do it. It's precisely what you do, plus a little bit more, genital contact."
Where - EVER - have you seen me 'be down' on hardcore?
I slam hardcore websites that use the word 'fetish' when they are anything but. Because it's not fair to 'real' fetish websites.
There are a few 'hardcore' websites out there that I despise - but it is because I know that their idea of 'consent' is fuzzy, at best.
It is not that I 'hate' their content - it is about consent.
You label yourself as a 'Master' for Christ's sake! Then you - moreso than the average man - should be hyper aware of issues regarding consent, and abuse, and dealing with fucked-up women. It comes with the territory.
"Come on... every time I see a girl wearing a rubber hood, crotch-high six-inch heel leather boots, hanging upside-down from the ceiling in a rubber straitjacket - or whatever - , I ask myself : "Would she do that at home for her boyfriend?" My guess is, no she wouldn't."
You need to get out more. My personal phonebook is FULL of women who are decidedly kinky, attractive, and have been burned so much that they've pretty much given up looking for a partner.
I do not envy male dominants - because there are so many abusive assholes out there who use that label and RUIN it for the sincere men.
I mean - seriously - almost every woman I know has subgirl fantasies, but are afraid to even ADMIT it.
"Models get paid, porn stars get paid, and true fetishists who don't need to get paid are one in a million. By the way, if you know a single one, please send her my way, would you? I'll marry her and keep her in all the leather and boots she can wear. And snuggles? Don't even get me started."
FWIW - I've heard that Montreal is a HORRID place to find a fetish partner. This is not an insult towards your city - I went to university in Montreal and know the city quite well.
But every kink/fetish partner I have had - and there has been quite a few - I never met them at a fetish club or on a website or a 'lifestyle' group. We just met. Bookstores. Through mutual friends. SciFi cons. Live shows. At work.
"If a person can't make a living at something (which is the case of MUCH art), then it's a hobby. Or they starve, a not uncommon choice, but to my mind, not a good one."
I don't 'make a living' at Bootlovers.com - and this blog is paid for out of my own pocket.
But if people like me gave it up - then online 'fetish' would be left to the porn producers.
I know you say that you couldn't give a shit about who produces your jerk-off material - but unless you want to spend the next countless years staring at the same pairs of cheap vinyl thigh-highs...you should.
You don't have to own an issue of Bootlovers to recognize the influence it has had on even the lowest of 'boot porn' websites. Everyone rips us off now - I long ago gave up taking it personally.
But even after this long response...you missed my point.
...
What my point is. What it always is. What concerns me. Is that the current 'trend' of anger, contempt, and sometimes outright misogyny is scaring women away from the internet.
Many will roll their eyes. But the Washington Post, NY Times, and The Guardian have all had features in the past few months, documenting this trend.
So some can sneer, and think I am some fat old crazy bitch - but I am showing the writing on the wall.
Women are LEAVING the web in insane numbers because of the 'backlash' from the assholes who are ruining it for everyone else. I don't even hang around the web chatrooms, yet even I hear about - and witness - this via the various fan and female webgeek groups I belong to. The women are leaving! The only thing that can change this is the 'good guys' finally delurking and pulling rank; and putting these miserable fucktards in their place. We - as women - have tried, but they don't listen to us.
The 'good guys' - I know you are out there - need to start stepping up . Right now, the inmates are starting to run the asylum.
Goddammit - start being men and put these boys in their place! Your comments count - I've seen it in action. Even some free-for-all blogs where the boys are doing the online equivilent of being excited puppies, pissing all over the place - then an alpha dog (sorry for the analogy - but it fits in this situation) steps in, and puts the little ones in line.
I know the analogy is terrible...but we desperately need more 'alpha dogs' - men like you - to set the standard. Women should not be intimidated, or scared away from, or made to feel 'unworthy' of...belonging.
It's insane, isn't it? The majority of fetishism is based on women - most of you want to meet a woman who shares and enjoys and accepts your fetish - yet the current trend is scaring your potential partners away! WTF?!
Do me a favor - the next time you are on a blog, or LJ group, or in a chatroom that is doing the verbal free-for-all gangbang? Tell them to knock that shit off - and watch them fall in line behind you.
One more thing before I go to bed...
It's something that I (sadly) laugh about...
All of the current 'hot' fetish models - the ones that everyone (righteously) swoon over, and who 'set the standard'...
While most of them lie about their age - none of them are under 30. Actually, most of them are over 35. If you knew the real ages of these models, your head would explode.
What should concern you - there's no 'up and comers' ready to take their place.
They are too afraid to post their photos - the 'standard' of perfection scares the hell out of them - because a bunch of jackasses who have been lucky to get laid maybe once or twice in their lives - will call them FAT and UGLY - and it scares them away.
Just this past week - a young model - a former 'Suicide Girl'...nice slim figure, great skin, pretty smile, and the typical SG 'look' - pale, black hair, blue eyes, a regretable tattoo...about 5'8", 120 lbs., no implants. She made the mistake of submitting a few amateur pics to one of these popular 'straight guy' girlie celeb blogs with the hope of being a 'featured girl'.
The pics were not photshopped - I don't know whether this was naivity or sheer balls on her part. I suspect the former - she didn't have the resources available to her to be 'internet ready'.
They tore her to shreds. Absolutely ripped her apart. The bitchiest of drag queens would have told them to back off out of sympathy. A pretty 20 year old girl who was trying - she won't be back. If I was on the receiving end of those cruel comments - I'd still be bawling my eyes out.
THAT is the point to the few fucktards who don't GET IT.
(Image from Teri Gallery #32 - click here to view the enlargement)